The Holy Spirit Guides...

James 1:5 If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.


It's not unusual to find that staunch Mormons will often turn to the power of prayer whenever faced with major decisions in their life. I have observed that this is quite often used INSTEAD of logic and reason. When taught to believe that the 'spirit' will guide each baptized member in every choice they have, and all they have to do is pray for guidance, it is rather easy to forget how to use the old fashioned tools of pen and paper and a lot of thought when making life decisions. Most people talk with others who have had similar experiences, get advice from their peers, their family members, or professionals. But being Mormon means already having the power to direct their lives from start to finish...all they need is 'confirmation'.

I know a lady who was asked by a returned missionary to be his wife, after knowing him for just over 3 months....instead of putting off marriage for a long enough period of time to discover all of his personality quirks and past history, she simply prayed for guidance and used her gift of the Holy Ghost as a tool for making choices. When she got her warm feeling, burning in the bosom confirmation, she took that to mean she was making a good choice and that is where her life should go. So, she married him in the SLC temple, like she had always dreamed, and their life was perfect.....until 4 years later when she had to file for divorce while he was sitting in prison for child molestation. Did God really want her life to go down this painful path of torment and heartache? Did God intend for two children to grow up without their natural father and cause all kinds of sadness and family tension? What does this say about 'confirmation'?

I know another lady who was a single mom, lonely, depressed, and full of hope that she could find a worthy priesthood holder to become a righteous leader in her home. She thought she found that in a former boyfriend who had recently come back into her life, and proposed marriage after only 5 months. He promised all kinds of things to her, and she simply prayed for guidance and used her gift of the Holy Ghost as a tool for making choices. When she got her warm feeling, burning in the bosom confirmation, she took that to mean she was making a good choice and that this is where her life should go. So, she packed up her kids, and moved 800 miles away from all of her friends and family, and married him there, with none of her family present. She was hoping to make it to the temple with him and be sealed to him with her children, because that's what she had prayed for, and she had received her sign that this was the correct course. Three years and many abusive episodes later, involving a spiteful ex-wife and a handful of accusations against her through DCF, she moved back home, kids in tow, and a second divorce under her belt. Where was God in this decision? Did she used the same system to determine to leave as she utilized to determine to go with him? Is God just f--king around with her? What does this say about 'confirmation'?

I know another lady who met a man online and decided to meet with him after only 4 months of communication via phone and email. When they met for the first time, she "knew" he was the one for her because she simply prayed for guidance and used her gift of the Holy Ghost as a tool for making choices. When she got her warm feeling, burning in the bosom confirmation, she took that to mean she was making a good choice and that this is where her life should go. They married 6 months later, and thankfully are married still today. I suspect that if, at any time, he were to reveal his secret, private reservations about the church, and let her in on some of the disturbing facts he was learning about the church's history, and Joseph Smith's polygamy, she would use that gift of the Holy Ghost again, and make the decision to leave him based on warm feelings and a burning in the bosom confirmation. She would probably forget all that he has done for her, his true passion and love for her, and his complete devotion to her children that he adopted as his own, simply for the fact that he would no longer be able to sustain belief in the church. Where is God in all of this? Did he really mean to bring these two people together only to have them later divided simply on the basis of what church they attend? Can he give opposing answers to two people in the same situation, one confirming to stay in, and the other confirming to leave? What does this say about 'confirmation'?

I know a guy who was struggling to make ends meet in his hometown, couldn't get the bills paid, and couldn't keep his kids from having to attend substandard educational schools in the area, so he and his wife were trying to decide if they should move to her home town 200 miles away. Instead of weighing pros and cons, using financial analysis, calculating the risks, they simply prayed for guidance and used their gift of the Holy Ghost as a tool for making choices. When they got their warm feeling, burning in the bosom confirmation, they took that to mean they was making a good choice and that this is where their life should go. Now, two years later, they are in financial distress, having trouble making ends meet, and facing a health crisis of mammoth proportions. What would God have them do? Should they pray again to figure out what course to take? Can they figure out on their own what they should do, or are they so dependent upon God that they can't make a move without 'confirmation'?

It seems completely crazy to choose to spend $60 for gas to travel 3 1/2 hours to the nearest temple when making life decisions, when that money could be better spent digging yourself OUT of the trouble in the first place. I've already saved over $500 this year by not paying 10% of my income to the church, that's just based on my one-day-a-week part-time job. That's one month's rent here. That's the equivalent of 3 weeks of groceries. But to submit this money to the church, and then pay an additional $60-$80 for a trip to the temple so I can dress up and act out rituals, and then sit in a pretty room with a nice chandelier for 15 minutes, trying to get an answer from God on how to get the money to pay off my debts and continue eating is completely NUTS!!! The answer is right in front of you---quit paying tithing and quit going to the temple, and you get a 10% raise in pay + bonus cash!!! God is NOT listening, or you wouldn't be running around in circles trying to get further light and knowledge every time a "confirmation of truth" doesn't pan out the way it was supposed to. The answer is NOT pay more, travel more, spend more, give more. The answer is cut off the drain on your income, and get your priorities in order!!

I find the trend disturbing---Mormons turn to their leaders for help and guidance, and are often being counseled by people who have had no training in this area (My former bishop was a librarian in real life!) When they unburden all of their problems and ask for guidance, the standard reply becomes, "read, study and pray". Mormons are taught that this special power of discernment is theirs just for the asking, because they have the power and gift of the Holy Ghost and can use that to assist them in making choices. Determining truth from lies becomes a matter of 'what makes you feel good inside'. So, on your knees praying for an answer, you really just start out with the idea of what you want to have happen, and then wait for 'confirmation'. Maybe it will take some time and effort, but eventually you get the warm fuzzies and you can go about your business knowing that you have been heard, and God is with you because you feel the burning confirmation in you. Well, I get a burning in the bosom every time I hear the national anthem!!! I feel it when I watch my children perform in music or drama. I get a 'confirmation' when I come to the end of a good movie! Does this make the movie 'true'? Does this mean that the national anthem is part of God's plan for me? Or is it just a good feeling that some are mistakenly interpreting as God's will?

Let's suppose I had to choose between two houses. Do you suppose I could make a correct choice without ever seeing the inside? Do you think it would be wise to base my decision on outside appearance? The smell of the grass? The price?

A rational, logical approach would be to thoroughly examine the house, top to bottom, inside and out, looking for hidden surprises, damage, repair work, sloping floors, rotten beams, leaking pipes, and cracks in the foundation. Why is the Mormon religion so different? Why can't a thorough examination be done to find out if it is an imposition, and if it is found to be based on a fraud, why shouldn't we work to expose that fact to anyone and everyone who would have ears to hear?