My new totem animal

I have been attracted to Dragonflies lately. I seem to be sensing the "winds of change" and my own road is leading towards light and understanding, both of where I have been, and where I am going. I am feeling like the things I have learned so far are mostly in the "what has happened" category. I long to learn new things, stretch the horizons and prepare myself for another great "awakening". I had one about four years ago, when I resigned from the LDS church. I am now getting prepared to launch myself in a new spiritual direction, this one having to do with carving out a new path based on what I have learned practicing Wicca for the past 4 years. I have gone many months not thinking about inner spirituality, and concentrating on the faults of others. Now I want to create something new and different. I want to develop an inner sanctuary, where demons of the past cannot harm me ever again. I want to deal with the pain and heartbreak of problems I will never be able to fix, harms I will never be able to apologize enough for, and conflict that I am never going to be able to end by myself. The dragonfly in me wants change, enlightenment, joy, a path to inner wisdom and understanding of the world and natural forces. I want to devote more time to developing my inner spirituality, making my rituals more fruitful, and really practicing what I believe. Oh, I will probably post more about Mormons and the teachings they fail to reveal to their members, and how history tends to get a "spin". That is part of my past, and in order to really deal with the pain I will have to lash out from time to time at that demon, the MORG. Many of my blogs will be about bring forth the true nature of that cult. But, more often, I will remember that this is only part of who I am, and I must not focus exclusively on that side, or else appear to be one-sided, or worse, still trapped by the futility of fighting a great LIE. I will try to post more about Sabbats, Full Moon rituals I will perform and the results that I'm having. I will try to bring about real change, in my family life, in my relationships with others, and in myself. I want to explore the meanings of my spiritual path, and why I feel attracted to certain Goddess/God aspects. I want to develop my personal "Book of Shadows" and get more involved with things that will help the Earth, like recycling, composting, planting trees and such things that can really help me feel more connected. I want to laugh more, cry less. I want to make others around me happy, and avoid those who suck all the energy I have away. I refuse to be seated at the same table with "fun suckers". I want to experience life without guilt. I think it's way too short to trouble ourselves with being pretentious and arrogant, setting up impossible standards that others have to measure up to in order to be "worthy" of acceptance into their club. I am good enough, just the way I am, without being judged or subjected to "higher authority". That's what this life is about.