Witches Weekly: Question for week of Nov 10, 2006

When did you first realize that the Pagan path was for you?

I never really knew that the pagan path was for me until I had gone through the process of leaving the Mormon church. I had spent many months studying different philosophies and came to the conclusion that even Christianity itself wasn't what it proclaimed to be. After researching the story of Mithras, the Persian Sun God, I became fully convinced that Christianity was nothing more than man's attempt to control the masses and weed out those who questioned authority. Eventually I stumbled upon Gnosticism and the pagan origins of Christianity. I guess I was always searching for the Ultimate God and Goddess pair that could be considered the "first emanation". As time has worn on, I have now concluded that the Gods have always been personifications of man, and that they exist as we picture them to be, individually. To put it simply, Gods are what we make them into. If we feel we need daily direction and someone to bitch to when things don't go right, there's a God for that. If we want a loving relationship with others, there's a God for that. The difference between being Christian, and being Pagan is simply a matter of who is in control. In Christianity, God (Elohim, Jehovah, Yaweh, whatever) is the one is in control of your life, and you have to continually petition for his intervention and protection. When you are a pagan, you have realized that you are in control, always have been, and the Gods are not intimately involved in every aspect of your life, and every second of your existance. Realizing that you are the one who can promote change in your life is very liberating indeed. Knowing that the Gods are individual emmanations that can assist you with your works and power directions makes it seem and feel more like a team effort. Pagans know deep down that we as a human race each carry a spark of divinity that we can all access if we choose to recognize it. And being able to interact with the Gods on a level playing field, (while recognizing their vast knowledge and power) is the ultimate form of power. It is so much better to perform rituals and cast spells knowing that you have done all that you can do, and you have made a commitment for change to happen. Leaving the rest to the Law of Return and Divine Balance is to recognize that bad things will still happen, loved ones will still pass away, and sorrow will still be felt. But, accepting these things as part of the great life cycle is much better for me than to blame a God that is famous for vengeance and threats of hell and damnation.
In short, I realized I was pagan when I lost the fear of being punished for failure to believe in one particular God and worship in one particular way. I chose to be pagan when I realized that I am the one who directs my own destiny and I can make changes with assistance from the many Gods and Goddess that have existed in conjunction with the Hebrew God Christians have been taught to revere. Gnosticism explains that the Hebrew God is nothing more than a "demiurge", a God that was brought into existance by mistake. He created this world and enslaves the humans on it by insisting that he is the only God that exists. In this way, he causes the fear in humanity, and forces them to "believe or perish". I am free from the bonds of slavery because I reject this philosophy and have regained control of my individual spark by realizing that there are many Gods, and I have nothing to fear by living life or eventually, succumbing to death when it finally comes.